One is running a fever of 40 degrees Celsius. As mentioned from Mr.Doctor.

Thus deranged typing from one shall ensue, but please do read what one has to say.
For one desires alot of attention in one's time of need. For one is hurt. For one is hurtin'.

[Deranged Typing]
[Please refer to "One" as "I" for now.]

I have a fever that peaks at 40 degrees. I do not mean to brag, for it is nothing much to boast about, for it is not enough to kill me.

Then again, if it was to kill me, I wouldn't be able to brag about this fatal fever, now wouldn't I? YOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!

Laugh with me please. Its downright hilarious.

Medication is not serving me well, sure it eases my suffering, no more flu or sore throat.

But the fever still persists.

Mr.Doctor even doubled my dosage of "anti-fever" pills, but still, feverish.

My head still throbs, my brain feels like its burning, at least I now feel less weaker than without medication though.

My dear friends and classmates showered me with attention and care recently, that which I'm thankful for.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ME.

Really, I don't think many people in class would give a shit if I were to drop dead suddenly.
Nor most of the people who know me.
They'd probably get over my death in a split second.

I'm just not as significant as others.
I'm just not that special.
I'm normal.
I'm worse than normal.
I'm a one-cell paremecium.
I'm a zero-cell paremecium.

You might be disgusted at how I am degrading myself right now. You may want to stop reading.
Though I need the attention now, not many people read this blog anyway, so why give me the attention?

After all, all that I seek for right now, is attention from this special person. Sure she is special, to me, in my mind, she is special above all. She is my rara avis.

Rara avis is Latin for rare bird. Find meaning at http://www.dictionary.com/ .

Sure, she is special to me, I would slog my guts out to ease whatever burden she may bear, I would die protecting her. I am willing to go this far. For I fucking need her in my life.

But I feel that I am not special to her in her mind. She doesn't treat me as a normal friend, as in, we never have a healthy conversation; it always breaks off abruptly. And we don't talk often. In fact, I don't ever recall going out with her even once. Pathetic me.

When I talk to her, I keep picturing a sub-consciously disgruntled version of her, who would rather be spending her time talking to her much closer friends.

It's not that she doesn't care about me, that I am sure. But to her, I am but a mere normal person, who has not talked to her more, joked with her more, hanged out with her more, impressed her more, etc etc. Don't think I could've done so anyway. I'm lousy emo crap.

So this lousy emo crap is still willing to do anything for her, but never was presented with the oppurtunity to do so, and thus is treated like an average/lower person. It hurts. Cry for him.

Imagine if she knows how to concoct panacea, and all her friends contracted early stage AIDS, I still have fever. She'd give her friends the panacea, for their situation is more dire and more drastic, kind of like how they sub-consciously would be of a higher priority for her. And I'd be neglected and left to rot with fever instead.

And as much as I want her attention, I won't ask for it from her, for if she was forced to give me insincere and forced attention, I would just spit at it.

So I'd rather leave myself to suffer with a constant 40 degree burn inside my head. I'm this sort of a person anyway. I suffer but still smile.

Mr Julian Teo, Mr Fourier Ang, Miss Leong, they doubted that I was sick. I was still smiling. So funny.

And I don't know why the fuck I keep smiling. I would wish to rip it off my face and put it back on when I wanted to show that I'm happy.

But still, I smile most of the time, even in situations which I shouldn't be smiling. When facing a tiger, smile.

That is why people don't try to know me, I guess. All he ever does is smile and get crappy results.

Kai Sheng is just a person with no personality, no character, no self, nothing can be used to define him. Please, define me in a sentence if you may, I beg of you.

He is boring and not worth knowing. Here's one.

I love ranting on this blog, in hope that the world can hear me rant about my squirming life.

Back to resting and burdening the world like some sort of tapeworm.