Don't keep your hopes and spirits too high, for the higher you build them up, the harder you'll fall.

Same goes for ego.

In the initial 2.6 years I was in Dance, I could be considered quite the joker there.

I had funny things to say, I could poke fun at the dance instructor's gay son and his pirated LV handbag which kind of read LA instead. There were so many things I could poke fun at. Really, during PT, even the funny noises I deliberately made to make them laugh worked. But joking aside, I still put in some effort, I wasn't there to waste time. I had SYF's and performances to participate in.

I suppose I could be considered the joy of the dance troupe back then.

Following the 2.6 years, I started to skip dance. I realised: Hey, no more SYF, no more performance, what for? I was already struggling with my studies.

This year, Mr Fourier Ang got me to come back to Dance. He informed me that if my attendance was not up to form, there goes my effort and CCA points. Very well.

But really, I didn't see any point to continue participating in practices, sure, my juniors have events to partake in. But in my Secondary 4 year, nothing but O levels.

So what for? I decided, I'll do my homework there instead. Haha quite weird eh? Everyone else would be dancing and I'm sitting on the floor doing my homework.

The new dance instructor found me, peculiar. But didn't really bothered/ dared to talk to me much about it.

I'm not going to waste my time in Dance, thats final.

Today was no exception, only that I found tables and chairs in the Dance Studio today, amazing. Thus, I used them for my Homework Club exploitations.

And one of my juniors were talking rather audibly behind my back, or rather, far away from me to the new dance instructor. I seem to have quite a good ear for such things, otherwise I usually am quite deaf.

" Eh, that guy over there right? He used to think he damn cool one. "

If I used to think I was damn cool. I would behaved like I thought I was so darn cool. But I didn't, I only came to dance to have fun and partake in competitions and performances. You, my junior, was one of the plenty who laughed with me.

I should note that after observing this particular junior for near 3 years, I had long ago realised that he was much of a hypocrite, thus his words are very much uncared for.

His lies were his only form of jokes. That is his only source of his humour.

And this is the maturity and inteliigence displayed by a Triple Science student, to think I even felt happy for him when he entered Triple Science, him who lives an unreal life.

Another one mentioned with such sting targeted towards me, words which Yen Chuan and Chong Xin would perhaps react to. " I'd rather take Physics+Biology, than Chemistry+Biology la."

Play your strengths, yes. If your Chemistry sucks, of course you shouldn't take it.

Then don't go Triple Science, dick. If you go there just to show that you can, you deserve to French kiss LDW. Don't waste your intelligent saliva away, talking about me, the retarded Double Science student.

Madam Endang came in to take attendance, she saw me doing work during Dance instead of practicing, for the first time. For she wasn't exactly an active Teacher-in-charge. Most of the work was done by Mr Fourier Ang.

She decided to walk over and tell me off, the rest of them just continued with their dance routine while I tried to prove my point to her.

E: Kaishank ( OH YEA, SHE TRIGGERED THIS KAISHANK IDEA, OR RATHER, KAISHANG), why are you doing work here, are you sick or something?

K: No, not sick.

E: Well, then shouldn't you get changed and start practising?

K: I would rather do my work, Mdm Endang.

E: Nooo~~, you're not supposed to do your work here, this is Modern Dance, not Homework Club (Great minds think alike, fools seldom differ.)

K: Haha, I also know this is not Homework Club. But my results are not very good and I got a lot of homework to finish up and hand in tomorrow. I'd have no time to finish it if I were to practise today.

Sidetrack: The only Sec 4's that were willing to attend regularly were perhaps only the Malaysian Scholars, they are Triple Science and renowned for their A1 streaks. And they are a bundle of joy too.

E: Well, I think you should go change and start practising.

K: Its not as if there is anymore upcoming SYF or performances right? If there is, I will gladly start practising, Mdm Endang. But right now, I don't have the time to spare.

E: Still, I think you should go change and start practicing.

K: *Ignores*

E: *Storms off and out out Dance Studio*

Whatever, I got attend can already.

Guailan as it may seem, I'm doing what I feel is not a waste of time.

It sort of felt like when I smiled with Allah for the donations to Singapore Cancer Society.

My ego was attacked so much, when it was simply what I wanted to do.

And as to why I used to be funny or rather, tried to be cool, and has become no longer so,

I just grew out of it.