Level 130 just twisted Allah inside out.

Allah got over it with a great deal/ little effort, he got over it quick. I wouldn't have been able to do so, if it were me in his shoes.

But such unfortunate events that happens to others, sometimes saddens me more than the victim herself/himself.

Enough about me, back to Allah. Level 130 said that there would be better people than Level 130. "There are plenty more prettier, smarter ones than me.". But the thing is, none of them can replace you, the level 130. You may have your flaws and good sides, but he'd love everything about you.

They can be prettier, smarter and behave exactly like you, but it just won't do; it isn't you, it just isn't the same. I know you don't want him anymore, but the hopelessness and despair that this truth brings, is so unbearable and hurtful.

It is true, you are not obliged to continue any form of relationship with him and you don't want to do so either; you don't like people like him, you said. Well, that cannot be helped, you shouldn't do what you do not wish to do, I respect that. But argh, heart pain.

Now I'm not trying to push any blame to you, it is not your fault, I'm just saying it really hurts to know that you can't be with the one you love. For when you love her, but she doesn't love you, it
hurts, I can vouch for that.

We shouldn't live in denial and dwell in the sea of depression. It is wrong. We have to move on.
Like John said, " Ah well, not mine what. What can I do?". I'd take more time and effort to get out of this if it were to happen to me, again.

Ah, lets bring about an abrupt change of subject which will seemingly send you a message to you, the reader's sub-conscious mind, that I didn't really mean/ wasn't sincere about what I said earlier.

Gekidou/激動 by UVERworld, new opening theme song of D.Gray-Man.

And most of it makes no fucking sense at all.

Then again, nowadays, songs lack sense and meaning. As long as it sounds nice, who gives a damn?

Anyway, found it rather catchy, though most of the lyrics are quite irrelevant and makes no link at all. Really, it makes no sense.

I think this is the chorus, and its sexy. And its translated into English from Japanese, so it wouldn't rhyme, it doesn't have to anyway.

- Blah-

Having lost sight
Of what little we had seen, we were
In a sea of memories
Drowning, so
Why? (why?)
Have even our vows
Turned into merely wishes, the next Master spark?

-More Blah-

Please don't ask me what is Master spark. For I too, am rendered clueless. Ah well, maybe I'm just dumb.

The chorus is really nice, I feel. Especially the doushite?/why? part.

Kind of sounds like, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? WHY ARE YOU KILLING ME? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU TO RECEIVE SUCH TREATMENT HUH?

Nah, my delusion. Its more of a "Why?" in "Why are we still rotting here?"

Regardless, its catchy.

I've been meeting really patient and tolerant people of late. So accommodating and caring. Or maybe I've become less dumb and irritating as compared to before.

They're pretty much like people from local churches, just that they're aren't brainwashed like some and also not as hypocritical as some. But I'd respect the rest whom aren't like this.

Ah but I too, am hypocritical at times aplenty, I don't deserve to talk about them like this. But no one is perfect. So leave me be.

Sorry, I want to rant.

I'm still unable to talk to her properly, not that I have many things to talk to her about.
Not that she has anything she wants to talk with me about.
Useless.
I've got her ignoring me at many occasions. I should stop this pestering.

Funny thing is, people will try to seek you if you do not try to seek them. I mean, look at God.

But the thing is, there are so many people that she can seek, so even if I stopped spamming, she wouldn't bother. I'm someone she can do without, as in really.

So I have to work harder to be her special someone. But not through spamming I guess.

Some other way...... I could become famous or spectacularly unique. Just something, to catch your eye, for you to love.