Well, much has happened recently. I changed my blogskin, yeah!

So, I've tried to pick myself up, tidied up my school desk, organised notes and worksheets, got a much more spacious bag, and a nice folder. Leave the problems aside, you can't afford to be distracted now.

Social problems, are they trivial? Do they not matter?

One thing's for sure, they can't be solved, not at this point of time, eh?

So yeah, I did chuck them aside, heeding her advice and my brother's advice. It is still tempting to turn back into who I was before.

In fact, I did fall back. Things happened between me and Gran recently, and yesterday, Zi Kang and Gran.

I realised, I desperately want to feel happiness. Overly demanding; always wanting things to go so smoothly and wonderfully. But hey, we're all not perfect, things like these happen.

I don't want to disappoint people. I know, you can't always please everyone. But I've never pleased anyone. All I ever did was disappoint people.

And it's not like I sincerely want to please. I'm not working hard enough to make an extreme and significant difference. Disgusting.

I printed the tabs for Gran today, and he didn't like the fact that it was dropped C tuning. I didn't notice, I should have. See, disappointment again. And once again I'd get the feeling that people shun me.

Yeah, Zi Kang and Gran meant well the other day. But what was miscalculated was that I was unable to take it well; naive, inexperienced and wimpy. My reaction was rather inappropriate, I didn't register it the right way.

That night, no apology came from me, nor from the two of them. No one was in the wrong, no one was to be blame, we're just imperfect. I suppose so.

But it did impact me. And I can't say safely that I'm crawling back to being a happy bastard.

When I speak, nothing good comes out? I wonder.

When I went out, did the girls just laugh at me? This is a very paranoid statement.

I have to change and upgrade so they won't laugh at me. Yeah.

What distinguishes a man from a boy? I wonder.

Sometimes, I wish I could be as violent, strong and fun to be with.

Sometimes, I should really stop wishing and start working on it.

I have Math TYS to do. Tonnes of them. Go figure.

Also, I didn't ask to be in Miss Chong's class, I told her I'll try Mr Thomas out. But if it doesn't work out, I'll find Mr Tan, that's what I arranged with her that day. For I'm not deserving to be in her class when I did not score high enough. I mean, Mr Thomas ain't a petty guy, he probably doesn't even remember that I offended him before, so I guess it could go well. Oops. Besides, she means well, I'm probably better there anyways. Yet Gran had to.... Never mind, I hate it when things can't be taken back.

I'm such a kid. So fucked.

I wish to embed music onto my blog, someone teach me?

Will I even be answered? I wonder.