Was reading up on other people's lives, reading blogs of friends' friends. Them, so sociable and street-smart, so admired and loved, so many friends.

Friendship isn't measured by quantity?

As much as I am urged to compare my miserable life to theirs, making myself feel like some inferior piece of shit, I have to suppress that. Somehow my life feels so small now, whereas their lives are so great.

I can't afford to think of my life as small, even though it is so. Denial is the key to hardcore mugging, just ask Master Xu Zi Yang. I think Bu Chi also says the same.

Two of the many elite muggers. OK, I should stop badmouthing people, it's bad.

Need to cut off from thinking about this. Because I'm not doing anything about it except for thinking. Which is stupid, because nothing comes out of it.

Am I caring? Is it because I care, that's why I'm in such a state?

I think I'm fading gradually, and being all sad to anyone will put them off.

Must put on a strong front, it's what distinguishes the men from the kids.

Uncertain, really. Need someone to talk to. Face to face, with concern and whatnot.

Wanting solutions.

Funny thing is, I lead a life that is so much more fortunate than other people, yet I'm in a shittier state than most people.

People with divorced parents, people with problems within their family, people who hate their father/mother because they're jerks, people who are disliked by the entire world, people who can't get anyone to be interested in what they have to say, etcetera, anything of the sort.

Everyone pulls themselves together, and strives against all the odds.

Guys, please don't mind me listing names. I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.

Julian, he moves on, he lives with certain problems, yet he spends his time much more wisely than most people instead of emo-ing in one corner. He works out a lot, he is still fun as a person, and is determined to run the final lap for the O levels.

Joshua, he has his fair share of problems too, but he found God. Gave him a much better outlook and thus, he moves on.

Chong Xin, has changed a lot. He wasn't as proactive and keen to socialize as much, that was during Lower Secondary level. Now, look at him, his proactive-ness and enthusiasm to socialize has multiplied by tenfold, the Chong Xin today is definitely a better and more fun person than before.

Alastair, he has his fair share of snide comments, taunts, issues, and even got attacked by people. Don't know what he does, but he's still remains as spontaneous and fun-loving as ever.

Then there's Gran. I put myself in his story and was enveloped with such misery. He told me that he was once like me, emotional and all, but he got over that. Those of you who know him, he just doesn't seem to show any form of misery, just goes to show how much stronger he has become.

True, feeling sad and all that, amounts to nothing.

Then there's Zi Kang, who lives under rather harsh conditions. But his family is well loved, and he too, found God. In him, I don't think there's any bit of misery that he creates for himself.

For it is how you think of a situation that makes it what it is.

I could type out my lifestory, but for whose keen eyes to read? Besides, I can feel my heartbeat weakening, my right eye dying. Should sleep.

Posted 3 posts in one day, my oh my.

Bye bye, it's funny to acknowledge that you are the closest thing to a stranger.