To struggle. Hoping someone else will be happy while it kills you inside. To step back from your childish notions of belonging, wanting to be the entire part of someone's life but facing it realistically that that shouldn't be the case. In all, to stop dreaming and thinking so much. If you truly care, so long as the other person is happier, what could be more important?

It is pretty much instinctive and in our nature to be self-seeking and self-preserving. But once we learn to see past ourselves, our needs and wants, to think more for those that we care about, is that not how love truly should be? And by that, love in itself is a struggle. You best be damn sure that you know it's worth the struggle.

After all this time, it couldn't be more clear that I lack a sense of self. I can't view myself in any way. Push me away and put me down, I'll be lost and unmotivated as all hell. Build me up and try to include me, you can be sure I'll try my damnest. I know I'm not the best man for everything, but every bit of confidence in me goes a long way in helping me in that regard. Guess that's one aspect of having a void to fill myself.

I'm not one with an impervious ego and brimming confidence, and if I appear to be the case then I guess I do pretend well. I rely heavily on the approval of those that mean something to me, without which I am nothing. And I guess you can say thats my make or break factor in teaching too. If the students truly learn and enjoy their time in my lessons, that'll mean the world to me. Yet otherwise, it'll devastate me. Both scenarios have happened so I've come to terms with it. If anything, I understand its a learning process, and I hope to get better and better for their sake eventually.

Point is, if something is worth it, I guess we'll all struggle to the best of our ability for it.

Your happiness. It'll be worth it. It has to be.